The Joy of Connection

The connection I crave is the connection I avoid.

I’ve been noticing this a lot lately. Every time I feel disconnected from life and myself, I’ll scroll through Instagram and Facebook, watch Netflix, talk shit with a friend, rummage through the pantry looking for something to eat, to fill that empty space inside me. I won’t do the things I know will bring me back to my centre: breathing deeply, stretching and moving my body mindfully, saying ‘I feel disconnected and I need real connection right now’ to a friend, sitting quietly and being present. Why is this? 

Why do I refuse to give myself what I need?

Why do I settle for shallow and unsatisfying when I could have truth and fulfilment?

I want to run towards myself instead of away from myself all the time. I want to be the connection I seek.

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